The Bars that Contain and Free Me

Cage.

I’m nothing but a caged animal to them.

Whores.

What do they want from me?

A show?

A parade?

A mother fucking, god damned circus!?

Whores!

I need deodorant.

The walls need paint.

Nobody likes white walls.

White walls are for middle class, stay at home, soccer moms.

Soccer moms who are fucking the post man part-time.

White.

White walls, white floor, white soccer moms, and their white lovers.

Pure.

Clean.

Lies.

White only stains so much faster.

Blood on snow.

Blood on a white dress.

Blood on a white body of the pretty girl next door.

Who’s fucking the post man.

Whores.

All of them.

I hate whore.

I love them.

I am one.

I am Satan!

I stood up from the bed and took a turn around the room.

Jane Austin-like.

She was white.

She also died.

Like a lot of people.

They are white and then they die.

I need some deodorant!

I walk over the bars of my circus bear cage.

Rawr!

I bang on the cage.

One of the clowns walk over to me, “What do you want?”

“Deodorant!” I scream back.

The man gives me a half smile, looks me over and says, “Too bad.”

I slam my hand against the bars.

Pain.

Pleasure.

They are the same.

They are mine.

I go back to pacing.

I feel the bruises on my wrists.

Blood.

Purple blood.

If only I could find the purple blood.

I love it.

Pleasure.

I walked over to the white walls.

Purple blood would be so beautiful on those walls.

The pure walls.

The church’s walls.

The blood of the Lamb on the white walls of the church that love him in the daylight, but then turn around in the darkness and worship me.

Satan.

Whores.

Desecrating the temple.

Selling their bodies on the streets for me, but giving the profit to God.

I want the money.

I want the people.

Come to the darkness my followers!

No one can see the filth, no one can see the sorrow, no one can see your troubles!

Just dance with me!

Dance with me in the dark!

The blind cannot judge.

There is only tolerance!

Give me the glory!
Give me the profit!

No strings attached!

I walked back over the “bed”.

More like a cot.

I pace over the far side of the cell and squat in the corner.

I need to find the blood.

The blood.

That will show them.

I make a tear in the fabric hiding the metal springs inside.

I slowly worked my way through the stuffing and pried out one of the precious articles.

I could feel the tremors start to crawl their way around my body.

Like scarabs, right under the skin.

I could feel their legs shuffle around underneath the surface.

Goosebumps rose up on my flesh as I slowly began to undress in the middle of the cell.

My clothes fell in a heap on the floor and the draft made the little hairs on my arms and neck stand strait up.

I uncoiled the spring and fashioned it for the most support.

I pressed my warm body against the cold wall.

“Come to me my followers,” I breathed. “Come and worship. Come and dance. Come and die.”

I pressed the sharp end of the spring to the top of my wrist, held my breath, and sliced into my white flesh.

I let out a shallow breath and pressed harder.

I could feel the adrenaline flush my body and I let out a moan.

I could feel my cock throbbing, pressed into the white wall.

I groaned as the metal tore through my skin.

I traced my forearm all the way down to my elbow.

The blood already encased my arm.

My eyes were held shut.

Fear.

What if it wasn’t purple?

It has to be.

I am Satan.

I ripped out the wire that was jammed in my flesh and dropped it on the floor.

With my eyes still shut I traced the cut with my fingertips.

I could see flashes of red underneath my eyelids as the cut screamed out to my touch.

I control the pain.

I pressed my four fingers against the cut.

I gasped as I could feel the precum eject from my hard on.

I shifted my hips around to smear it all over the wall and my abdomen.

I gritted my teeth and forced my fingers into the slit on my arm.

They curled and uncurled underneath my skin.

I began to shake as sweat began to bead up on my forehead and back.

I bit my lower lip.

They sank into the tender flesh and I could taste the salty liquid enter my mouth.

I laughed nervously and pulled my fingers out of my forearm.

I traced words across the white wall.

I am god.

Serve me.

Love me.

My muscles began to spasm and I fell onto the floor.

Blood filled my mouth and began to run down my throat. I traced my abdomen with the blood that was left on my fingers.

I was choking.

Shit.

They’re going to find me.

I shoved my fingers into my mouth and down my throat.

I’ve got to escape.

I have to leave.

They cant have me any longer!
My fingers crawled down my throat.

I gagged.

I leaned over on my side, away from the bars.

I threw up on the floor.

Eyes shut.

I’m Satan.

Love me.

Escape.

Blood.

Love.

Hate.

Pain.

Pleasure.

“OH my god! Mr.Brooks?! Help! Get a medic in here! Oh my god! The blood!”